I am absolutely certain that the success of my current relationship directly correlates to the fact that I was already in love before we met. I had spent the previous four years dating, and falling for the most important person in my life: myself.
There is almost nothing more attractive and desirable about a person than an air of confidence. While some people are born and raised with a stronger sense of self, I am also positive this can be a practiced and learned trait.
Were you at ease the first time you spoke in front of a crowded room? Or performed for a sold-out venue? Or even just ordered a coffee in a foreign language? I am guessing not, but as time goes on the unfamiliar becomes commonplace. Practice precedes comfort.
Falling in love with yourself might feel just as daunting, but it is a skill that is essential to your happiness. It is essential to your freedom. And it can be practiced and perfected over time.
When you’re content in your own company, time spent with any one else is a bonus. Your joy is not held hostage at the whim of imperfect (and often flakey) human beings.
Falling for yourself means not only learning more about yourself and what makes your soul content, but it also helps you realize exactly what kind of people you want to surround yourself with.
A couple easy ways to date & discover yourself:
- Take a long walk or run alone. No music, no phone. Let your thoughts be your company. Enjoy the opportunity to really hear your thoughts and to soak up your surroundings uninterrupted.
- Treat yo’self. Yes, those gorgeous flowers that you passed in Trader Joes would look perfect on your kitchen table. And it doesn’t matter who bought them, fresh flowers are guaranteed to bring a smile to your soul.
- Keep a journal. Write about your passions, thoughts, and dreams. Write about your mundane, normal, everyday life. Future you will be so glad you did, and this is a great way to get to know yourself deeper.
- Travel alone. Nothing brings out your true, raw, resourceful side like finding yourself alone in a new city. With no one else to rely on, you quickly find out that you are stronger and more resourceful than you had ever thought possible.
- Volunteer. Take one of your talents and a little free time and share it with someone. Helping others is a great reminder to be more loving, compassionate, and understanding. It is a great way to cultivate a heart of gratitude.
One of the most important things to remember is to be kind to yourself. You would never call your friends fat or point out their failures. Yet, so many times we stand in front of the mirror and let these thoughts fall onto our own ears. I have learned that it was very hard to accept other’s love for me, until I had learned to love myself first.
So take some time to woo yourself and fall in love. You’re totally worth it!